sex bed

A lot of people may have heard of Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages, (and if you haven’t) – A book that describes that every person has a different type of language that they both communicate and receive love in. The book has been an eye opener for relationships and individuals to better know and communicate with yourself and your partner. You may not be translating your partner correctly and they might not be interpreting you accurately either.

It isn’t necessarily a “you’re from Mars and you’re from Venus” kind of thing, but rather that we all show how we feel in different ways, so it stands to reason that we interpret Love, affection and intimacy needs differently too.

A simplified example; you may be feeling unloved when your partner is never around but they don’t understand how you could feel that way when they constantly leave you little gifts and send you flowers. The problem here is that your love language is quality time, and theirs’ is gifts. Knowing yours and your partner’s love language is a quick way to hack and improve your communication within your relationship and a key to understanding each other.

Whoa, slow down! If you don’t know your love language and this is your first time hearing about it I can help. Gary Chaplin has devised a test that can be accessed regardless of whether you have read his book.

The great thing about this quiz is that it can show you how to better communicate with your partner, and better know what you need as an individual.

Even knowing your Love Language though, sometimes it can be tough to know what that looks like in action. I am going to briefly breakdown the five love languages and demonstrate how to translate and use them in the bedroom during sex or intimacy.

Physical Touch

This may seem a given during physical intimacy but the type of touch we give our partners is critical to them feeling affection/love. Make a show of caressing them, make your touch intentional this could be anything from stroking their hair, to restraining their wrists with yours. another great example is cuddling during aftercare

Words of Affirmation

Many people like to hear words to reinforce how a person feels about them. Others not so much, and that’s ok, we’re all different. If your partner’s love language is Words be vocal during intimacy and sex. Not just I love you, but words such as “it feels so good when you. _____” or “You are so sexy/handsome/beautiful/hot/long/thick” making noise as well, reassures your partner that you’re having a good time and it may be the key to them feeling loved/validated during sex.

Quality Time
Being present in the moment, making eye contact, showing your partner that you are there and only thinking about them, not thinking about who will pick the kids up, or what to have for dinner, or that conversation with that person from work earlier that day. Slow down with them, take your time to show them you are there and being with them matters. make suggestions about spending this intimate and sexy time with them “How about you and me spend some time later doing X/Y/Z” or tell them that you can’t wait to spend that time together-but make sure you follow through on what you say.

Acts of Service
Acts of service relates to doing things for your partner. In the bedroom this could be devoting an entire session to their pleasure, it could be trying something you know they’ve been wanting to, or simply prioritizing your sex life, planning a steamy date night, organizing a baby sitter for some alone time, taking charge of them, or offering yourself in submission for a session, lighting their favourite candle because it gets them in the mood. as always though, only do acts that you’re comfortable with.

Receiving Gifts
gift giving and receiving seems simple but there is a little more to it. Gifts should be thoughtful and individual. Here at OhZone we have many wonderful gifts, toys and selection to meet every need, fantasy and occasion. Whether a vibrator, a massager, bondage or lingerie, Massage oil to give your special someone a massage or toys like our WeVibe Chorus that can be used together. Just a little something to let them know that you thought of them and thought of what you could “do” together is a wonderful way to meet this need.

Come in and chat with our experts at the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres and see what we can show you today.