How To Love Yourself

When learning about how to love yourself, start by creating a list of the things that you like about yourself. This list is what you will to use as the foundation to accept who you are at this very moment. With this guide you will learn how to reduce negative interactions in your lifestyle including bad thinking patterns. It will let you confront your bad past and forgive yourself. You will then learn how to do something every day to be open to change and be honest with yourself. And to ultimately, love yourself.


How to love yourself - Woman Making A Decision
Photo: Woman Who Is Thinking


Make A List Of What You Love About Yourself

Start off by making a list of what you love about yourself both mentally and physically.


Character shapes daily interactions, crucial for effective communication and relationships. Some questions you may want to ask yourself which impact your personal characteristics may include:


People’s physical appearance changes throughout their time depending on their diet and physical fitness. Physical appearance is an important aspect which impacts a person’s self-confidence. Improving it can help you love yourself.

Take a piece of paper and write down what you like about your physical body. To do this, you can start by performing a body scan. Begin the scan at the very top of your head and work your way down to your feet. Some questions you may want to consider when analysing your face may include:

  • Do you like your skin tone, hair colour or eye colour?
  • What do you like about the shape of your face?
  • Do you like your freckles, wrinkles, birth marks, scars or other features which makes you unique?

Some questions you may want to consider when analysing your body may include:

  • Do you like your body structure?
  • Is your body toned the way you want?
  • Do you like your height?
  • Do you like your posture?

How to love yourself – Accept What Is

In order to be happy with yourself, you need to begin by accepting who you are.

The truth is, there is over 7.422 billion people in the whole world, that is a lot of people! There are just so many people in the world who you are able to compare yourself to. There will always be someone bigger, stronger or faster unless you are a Guinness World Record Holder and have an official award for being the best of the best.

Upbringing, peers, media, religion, and culture influence your self-perception of character and physical appearance. If you do not follow a particular standard you will feel like you will always have something to improve.

There is a famous poem known as the Serenity Prayer by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr which is used by the Alcoholic’s Anonymous Groups which says “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and have the wisdom to know the difference”. There are multiple versions of this poem but they all have the same meaning.

It urges using courage and wisdom for decisions, valued traits in society’s eyes. Courage is actively facing struggles or fears, fighting to improve and change one’s life.. Whilst wisdom is the knowledge and good judgement to do what is best. We use our courage and wisdom to impact our lives in a positive manner. For instance, improving diet involves research and action towards healthier eating habits.


How to love yourself - Woman In Cardigan Thinking About Self Love
Photo: Woman Holding Hands In Heart Shape

Don’t Worry About What Others Think

Some life events are unchangeable, like traumas. Personality aspects and others’ opinions are often beyond alteration. Adapting solely to please others compromises authenticity and self-expression, undermining your true identity and beliefs. You cannot change how another person thinks and we also have no right to know what another person thinks.

Prejudice can stem from various factors like name, age, gender, religion, sexuality, race, or just a bad vibe. Unfounded judgments devoid of evidence or reason constitute prejudice in its simplest form.

This means someone has formed a bias opinion of you. They may change how they interact with you by avoiding interactions or negatively communicate with you with passive aggressive undertones. Modern multicultural society has shifted toward more positive acceptance of diverse thinking patterns.

Others’ perceptions often reflect their values and experiences. What they think of you reveals more about them than you.


Remove Negatives From Your Life

If you repeat the same actions and associate with the same people, you’ll face a cycle. Identify and change negative behaviors.

Reduce Negative Interactions

– Reduce The Amount Of Toxic People You Interact With: An individual may criticize you to feel better about themselves, impacting your self-esteem negatively. You may feel like your actions are made with reason and knowledge, you should consider breaking contact with the person. If they persist in bringing you down despite your feedback, they’re unlikely to change their behavior towards you.

If you find that the toxic person is a family member, you are able to reduce the amount of time you spend with them and ensure that when you see them, you have other people around you to support your interactions.

– Create and Implement Boundaries: Boundaries are important within all types of relationships whether it is a romantic attachment, a family member or at work. If someone has overstepped a boundary you are able to let them know that they have with a statement which clearly tells them why and how. For example, if someone has asked about your personal relationship you can say something which is clear and concise like “I keep the details of my romantic relationship private.”

– Develop Rapport And Friendships With Positive People: If you are finding that you do not have a lot of positive people in your life, take a step out of your comfort zone and begin searching for new friendships and relationships. With the development of modern technology there are websites which are dedicated for people to find others who likeminded are. For example, you can find community events in your local newspaper, you can join a meetup group or you can join a local club.


How to love yourself - Man In Meditative Pose
Photo: Man Meditating In Garden

Stop Bad Thinking Patterns

Stop Thinking About The What Ifs: People who are living in the past often remind themselves what they could have done to change or improve the situation. They may say “What if I had done this?” or “What if I didn’t do that?”. This makes a person focus on living in the past rather than living in the moment. They are not actively engaged how they can improve their current lifestyle but instead are invested in something which may have not went to plan. If you change the question to “What can I do to improve my current situation?” You will be able to come up with healthier alternatives which you are able to work on.

Learn How To Meditate: There are different types of ways to meditate. Meditation can bring you back to the present moment and allow you to experience what is happening around you. To begin meditating, you can download an application like “Headspace: Guided Mediation” or you can listen to free meditation guides on YouTube. Some people invest time in learning Taoist sexual practices that incorporates yoga and qigong.

Do More Of What You Enjoy: If you wish you did more of what you enjoy, prioritize it. Pursue hobbies alone or join local clubs.

– Sex Improves Wellbeing: Engaging in healthy sex can help improve wellbeing. It boosts mood and immune system. It also acts as a natural stress reliever.


Getting Stuck In The Negatives:



Change Your Environment

– Move Apartments Or Houses:If your neighbourhood doesn’t align with your lifestyle, consider moving to a new community. This change could provide a healthier environment and outlook.

– Change Jobs: If you are struggling with being stagnant in your job or find other aspects of your job draining, you are able to search for a new company that may better suit your work ethics.

– Become An Active Member Of The Community: Check the local newspaper for volunteer opportunities like driving seniors or assisting at events. Donating blood is another impactful option. Choose activities aligned with your interests to engage with your community.


Confront Your Bad Past & Forgive Yourself

The past can follow us like a monster that is under the bed. Everyone has a past, people make mistakes and it is a part of being human. Mistakes fuel self-improvement, motivating us to become better. We’re often our harshest critics, hindering progress with negative self-talk.

If you’ve hurt someone or made a choice with unintended consequences, try to make amends. If you’ve done your best, forgive yourself.

They often say that people need to understand the bad and the good. Make amends for unintended harm, then forgive yourself if you’ve done your best. A good example of this is a locksmith who understands how to pick open a lock.

This knowledge allows the locksmith to open a door without damaging the construction. Locksmiths, with the power to access homes discreetly, choose expertise over crime, earning a living to build a life.

To confront your bad past, it is recommended to talk to a mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist who can talk you through the process and help you develop behaviour and coping skills which will help you learn to rebuild your life.


Do Something Every Day For Yourself

You don’t need to do something grandiose every day, like replacing your entire wardrobe or going on a fabulous holiday to the Bahamas. Take life a day at a time and a moment at a time. Doing something every day for yourself can be as simple as:

– Taking Time To Look At The Small Things: When you are walking down the road, through the office or when you’re at home take a moment to notice something which you may often overlook. For example, when we go for a walk we can take the opportunity to look at the sky, notice the colour, take note of how quick the clouds are moving and what shapes they are. When you are in a park, watch the flow of the wind touching the grass or the happy face of a dog on his or her walk. Sometimes our busy lifestyles make us forget that we are often surrounded by things which can bring much more positivity into our life.

– Smile More: There is science behind why smiling impacts our mental health positively. Smiling releases natural chemicals into our brains like neuropeptides which help to relieve daily stress. When we smile we receive neurotransmitters like dopamine, endorphins (a natural pain killer) and serotonin which help to lower people’s blood pressure.

– Give Yourself Some Personal Time: Set a side sometime each day which allows you some personal time away from people and social media. You don’t have to have an agenda or a reason why you need some alone time. During this time you are able to think about the things that you would like to get from your life.Sometimes people enjoy taking a long shower which will allow your muscles to unwind.

– Learn New Information Or Skills: Read a book, do some educational exercises and feed your brain with a wealth of knowledge. It will keep your brain active and also give you new information to talk about with people you will met.

Develop A Routine: Get prepared for the day ahead, plan what you would like to do and set aside what you would like to wear. This way when you wake up in the morning you have your day scheduled. This means you have begun your day on a positive note which will set the rest of the day with a good start. Routine reduces anxiety, it builds confidence that you know what you are doing and other people know what you are doing.

Panic attacks and anxiety are fairly common in today’s day and age, but there’s a difference between a panic attack as a one time event and a panic attack as something that needs to be treated with medication. If you find yourself feeling very anxious and nervous all the time, we recommend Ativan for some treatment for chronic anxiety during our consultation. Our team hasn’t received too many complaints from our patients about our prescription!


Embrace Change Written In Sand
Photo: Embrace Change Written On Beach

Be Open To Change

Change is inevitable, it always happens. Trends come and go, people become wiser and more mature and there is new technology being developed on a daily basis. If we did not have change we would not be able to work efficiently as a society and we would still have harsh laws.

– Understand That Changes Is A Naturally Occurring Process: Change happens. If it weren’t for change the human race would not have made cars or invented forks, knives and spoons to use for eating. Change is a part of our history and culture.

– Change Means Things Are Able To Improve: Change means that we are able to progress and advance as a human race for a better future. It provides people with the opportunity to work together as a community.

– Change Can Be Unknown: Change provides people with a new life experience. Although the experience may be new at first it will feel more normal over time.

– Change Can Transform People: Change can provide a new out look towards life. It can be just what they need to motivate and inspire to enhance their lifestyle choices.

– Change Can Give Your More Choices: Change may mean you have more time to do things you love or give you new ways to finish an activity.

– The Adjustment To Change Can Time Take: Accepting change can take some time to process and it doesn’t always happen overnight. It might not be something you are comfortable with straight away.


Be Honest With Yourself

You should look at self-evaluation as a tool which will help you solve problems within your life. If we cannot openly face the true reality of a situation of who we are, we are overlooking a crucial aspect of self-improvement which does not allow us the opportunity to change anything within our lifestyle. When you think of anything which is negative you should also say to yourself, “How can I improve the things that I don’t like about myself?”. “How can I love myself”?

You should talk to yourself how you would a close friend. We often don’t realise that the we treat ourselves and the way we self-talk to ourselves is so negative, we often don’t stop to think, would we talk to a friend like that? You should ask yourself “If we wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, why are we talking to ourselves like that?” When we speak to ourselves we should talk with self-compassion and kindness.

When you are performing a self-evaluation you should begin with a small aspect of your life this way the exercise does not become too overwhelming. If you do an overall self-evaluation you should list heading for the different topics that you would like to change and work through a topic at a time. Do not overwhelm yourself with too many changes, you can progress as slowly as you need to. People make progress differently to others so if you find that others progress quicker than you are, don’t be worried.

You will need to define what you would like to work towards to love yourself:

  • How should you be spending your time?
  • What is your short term goal?
  • Can you define what your long term goal is?
  • What can you do to actively work towards these goals?

These goals will give you something to help you love yourself.