It’s not uncommon to find that those using an escort services are lonely or want to explore an aspect of their sexuality in a place where they don’t feel judged, particularly if they are worried that their partner might not be accepting of their true desires. This is why it is important to try and not judge someone if you discover that they have previously, or currently are, using these services. However, that is easier said than done if you find out that your husband or partner is engaging in sexual encounters with escorts. It could mean that you will both have to have tough conversations to figure out why they feel the need to use these services and how you can both move forward. If you have suspicions that your partner might be using escorts, the following four signs are things to look out for.

1.   Showers Outside the Home or as soon as He Gets In

One tell-tale sign that your husband or partner might be engaging in sex outside of your relationship is if he starts showering elsewhere. For example, if he says he is going to the gym more often and showering there. He might also be keen to get in the shower straight away when he walks through the front door. You may have also noticed he is wearing different clothing from what he was wearing when he left.

2.   He is Being Secretive with His Phone or Laptop

Another indication that something isn’t right is if your partner suddenly starts being secretive with his phone or laptop. Perhaps he used to not care if you used these devices, but now he doesn’t like you touching them and finds excuses for you not to. He might have also changed passwords so that you can’t access these devices when he is not around.

3.   He Doesn’t Want to Spend Money

Escort services can be expensive, particularly if someone is using them regularly. If your partner has started to get more frugal, such as not wanting to go out for dinners, purchase things for your home, or book holidays with you as they have done in the past, this could be cause for concern. If you do share a bank account, check your statements or credit card bills to look for withdrawals you don’t recognize.

4.   He Is Going on Trips to Places Famous for Sex Tourism

Certain destinations in the world can attract many ‘sex tourists’ to that area. If your husband or partner is going on vacations with friends or business trips more often these days, check where the destinations are. If they are traveling to Amsterdam, Brazil, Cuba, Thailand, or Germany a lot, there is a chance they are visiting escorts there. Germany, in particular, has had a thriving sex work scene since it was legalized there in 2002 – although there are restrictions still in many areas. For an example of what you can expect, the Essen-based website Erobella say: ‘Essen, and Germany as a whole, has seen an explosion of sauna clubs, private clubs, strip bars, swinger clubs, and brothels since the sex industry was legalised at the start of the century.’

Some of these signs could also be indicative of infidelity with someone who isn’t an escort, so don’t assume your partner is using these services if they are doing these things. However, if you do suspect this is happening, do some more investigating so that you can address the issue with your husband or partner and find out why they are turning to escorts. What comes next for your relationship will depend on if you can move forward together from this rough patch.