Buying Your First Dildo is a highly personal decision. It’s very easy to make a mistake the first time and end up with something that doesn’t work for you. It can be overwhelming to even look for the ideal toy. Here are some expert tips for you.
First, ask yourself what you want to do with it. Beyond pleasurable sensations, think about what size would be best, the extent, to which you need penetration, and more. Sometimes people just want to be penetrated. More often, they crave a new experience. Consider what you want to feel at this moment.
If you’re the adventurous type, you could try a new size or shape in case you only have experience with one single kind. Alternatively, stick with what you like if you know what it is.
Hitting a Certain Spot With Your First Dildo
Dildos stimulate targeted spots, internal or external. A curved dildo will touch the G-spot when you penetrate yourself with it. Some are curved at the tip; others in the middle.
Solo or Partner Use
If you’ll be using it solo, it’s best to get a hands-free dildo or one that’s easy to hold at the very least. It’s important to have a reliable suction cup. However, if you’ll be using it with a partner, it’s a different story. Obviously, the most important consideration is who will be penetrating whom. You can use a strap on or hold the dildo in your hand. There are dildos that work well with harnesses and others that don’t work as well. If your partner is male, there are plenty of toys he will enjoy.
Consider the Size
It might not be optimal to go for the hugest possible size your first time. Massive dildos require experience. But if you must…hey, it’s what you want. Some people are tremendously aroused by the idea of shoving something large inside. There’s a lot to explore in this direction especially if you are shopping for strapon for pegging. Most men wouldn’t be comfortable using a large pegging strap-on.
In addition to that, you simply can’t have enough lube with a large dildo. Don’t skimp on it by any means. You should use water-based lube with TPE dildos and some silicone ones. Silicone-based lube works with metal and glass and some silicone dildos. It is thicker than water-based lube and enables more extended play.
Sometimes a small dildo is the better option. For anal penetration, starting small is best. Get a slender one if you want to try double penetration.
An excessive size can cause discomfort if it reaches all the way to the cervix. You need a lot of patience, time, and lube to work your way up to a larger size. Don’t rush into penetration. Foreplay is of essence here.
Alternatively, you run the risk of getting something that’s too small. If it’s too short, it will miss the G-spot and other important zones. If it’s too thin, it might not give you the feeling of stretching that you’re looking for.
Since it’s your first time buying a dildo, starting average is probably most reasonable. Look for a size of around four inches in length with a one inch diameter. For most vaginas, this size should be fine. It might be too much for anal sex though, especially if you have no experience with anal penetration.
What Material to Look For In Your First Dildo
There are all kinds of sex toy materials – silicone, metal, glass, wood, rubber, jelly, and TPE to name a few. What’s best and safest? How do you know what you’ll enjoy most? It’s very hard to tell in advance. This section has some details to help you make the best choice.
Silicone
Silicone is widely regarded as one of the best materials for sex toys, and for good reason. It’s body-safe, non-porous, and hypoallergenic, making it an excellent choice for anyone looking for a high-quality, long-lasting toy. Unlike cheaper materials, silicone is free from harmful chemicals like phthalates, so you can enjoy peace of mind while using it.
One of the standout features of silicone is its perfect balance between firmness and flexibility. It’s firm enough to provide satisfying penetration, yet has a slight give that makes it comfortable and easy to use. This means you get the structure you need without it feeling too rigid or painful.
Silicone dildos come in a vast range of designs, from ultra-realistic models with veins and ridges to sleek, minimalist shapes. They’re available in every size, color, and texture imaginable, catering to all preferences. Plus, cleaning is a breeze—since silicone is non-porous, you can sanitize it easily with soap and water, a toy cleaner, or even by boiling it for a deep clean.
The only thing to keep in mind is that silicone-based lubes can break down the material over time, so always pair your silicone toy with a good-quality water-based lubricant for the best experience.
TPR/TPE (Thermoplastic Rubber/Elastomer)
TPR and TPE are some of the most common materials for affordable sex toys, thanks to their incredibly soft and realistic feel. If you love the sensation of skin-like textures, this might be the material for you. Many people appreciate the way TPR/TPE mimics the natural give of flesh, making for a more lifelike experience compared to firmer materials like silicone or glass.
The biggest advantage of TPR/TPE is its budget-friendly price. High-end silicone toys can be expensive, but if you’re looking for something that feels great without breaking the bank, this is a solid choice. However, there is one major downside—TPR and TPE are porous materials, meaning they can absorb bacteria and are impossible to fully sterilize.
Because of this, proper care is essential. Always wash TPR/TPE toys with soap and water before and after use. For extra protection, using a condom over the toy is highly recommended, especially if you plan on sharing. Additionally, stick to water-based lubricants, as other types may degrade the material over time.
If you’re looking for a cost-effective, skin-like toy and don’t mind the extra cleaning precautions, TPR/TPE can be a fantastic option. But for those who prioritize hygiene and long-term durability, non-porous materials like silicone or glass might be a better investment.
Glass
Glass dildos might sound intimidating at first, but they are actually among the safest and most luxurious sex toy options available. Made from high-quality, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass (the same type used in Pyrex cookware), these dildos are completely body-safe and incredibly durable. Contrary to popular belief, they won’t break during use, and their smooth, rigid texture provides an entirely unique sensation that many users swear by.
One of the best things about glass dildos is their versatility. They work well for both beginners and experienced users, and their rigid structure allows for precise control and targeted stimulation. Many glass toys feature beautiful, artistic designs with swirls of color, intricate patterns, or even textured nubs and ridges to enhance pleasure.
Temperature play is another reason people love glass toys. You can warm them up under hot water or chill them in the fridge for a thrilling change in sensation. And because glass is completely non-porous, it’s one of the easiest materials to clean—just use soap and water, a toy cleaner, or even pop it in the dishwasher for hassle-free sanitation.
Additionally, you can use any type of lube with a glass dildo, including silicone, water-based, and oil-based lubes, giving you total freedom to customize your experience. If you’re looking for a sex toy that is visually stunning, ultra-hygienic, and capable of delivering intense pleasure, a glass dildo is a fantastic investment.
Metal
Metal dildos are the epitome of sleek, high-end pleasure. Typically made from medical-grade stainless steel or aluminum, these toys are 100% body-safe, non-porous, and incredibly durable. Just like glass, metal dildos offer a firm and unyielding feel, making them excellent for those who enjoy deep, targeted stimulation. Their weight adds an extra level of sensation, providing a more intense and satisfying experience.
One of the biggest perks of metal toys is their ability to retain temperature. You can chill them in the fridge for an icy thrill or warm them under hot water for a more soothing, heated sensation. This makes metal an excellent choice for anyone interested in temperature play.
While metal dildos tend to have simpler, more minimalist designs compared to the colorful, artistic styles of glass, their smooth, polished surface glides effortlessly with minimal friction. They work with all types of lubricants, including silicone, water-based, and oil-based formulas.
Cleaning a metal dildo is effortless. Since it’s completely non-porous, you can simply wash it with soap and water, use a toy cleaner, or even sterilize it in boiling water. Many metal dildos are also dishwasher-safe, making maintenance as easy as possible.
If you’re looking for a sophisticated, weighty, and ultra-hygienic sex toy that will last a lifetime, metal is an unbeatable option. It delivers a uniquely intense experience while remaining one of the safest and most durable materials on the market.
Choosing Your First Dildo: Avoiding Common Mistakes
Buying your first dildo is an exciting step, but it’s also one you don’t want to rush. Many first-time buyers make the mistake of choosing the cheapest option, assuming it’s a low-risk way to experiment. However, low-cost often means low-quality, and many cheap dildos are made from toxic materials that can harm your body. What seems like a budget-friendly choice could turn into an expensive lesson in health and safety.
Material should be your number one priority. Body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel are non-porous, easy to clean, and free from harmful chemicals like phthalates. On the other hand, cheaper materials like jelly, rubber, or certain types of TPR/TPE can contain toxic substances and harbor bacteria due to their porous nature. If you’re on a budget, it’s worth investing in an affordable, body-safe option rather than gambling on something that could be harmful.
Size and shape also play a crucial role. Many beginners assume that bigger is better, but starting with something too large can be overwhelming or uncomfortable. A medium-sized, beginner-friendly dildo with a smooth surface and a bit of flexibility is usually the best starting point.
Instead of grabbing the first cheap dildo you find, take your time to research. Read reviews, compare materials, and consider what type of experience you’re looking for. Your first dildo sets the tone for your sexual exploration—choosing wisely ensures that it’s a pleasurable and safe journey.
Your First Dildo
What should I consider when choosing my first dildo?
When buying your first dildo, the three most important factors are material, size, and shape. Opt for body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel, as these are non-porous and easy to clean. Avoid cheap jelly or rubber dildos, as they may contain harmful chemicals. Size matters too—bigger isn’t always better, especially for beginners. A medium-sized, smooth, and slightly flexible dildo is ideal for comfortable use. Lastly, consider the shape—straight designs are great for beginners, while curved dildos can provide added stimulation for the G-spot or prostate.
Is it safe to buy a cheap dildo?
While there are affordable body-safe options, extremely cheap dildos are often made from toxic, porous materials that can harbor bacteria and leach harmful chemicals. Materials like jelly, PVC, or low-quality TPR/TPE are commonly used in budget sex toys and may contain phthalates, which can cause irritation and long-term health issues. If you’re on a budget, look for affordable silicone options from reputable brands rather than the absolute cheapest dildo on the market.
What type of lube should I use with my first dildo?
The type of lubricant you should use depends on the material of your dildo. For silicone dildos, always use water-based lube, as silicone-based lubricants can degrade the material over time. If you’re using glass or metal dildos, any type of lube—water-based, silicone, or oil-based—is safe to use. Using the right lubricant ensures a smoother, more comfortable experience and prevents damage to your toy.
How do I clean and take care of my dildo?
Proper cleaning is essential to keep your dildo safe for use. If your dildo is made from non-porous materials like silicone, glass, or metal, you can wash it with warm water and antibacterial soap or use a specialized toy cleaner. Some non-porous dildos can also be boiled or placed in the dishwasher for deep cleaning (check manufacturer instructions first). If your dildo is made from porous materials like TPR/TPE, you can’t fully sterilize it, so always wash it thoroughly before and after use and consider using a condom for added protection.
How do I know if a dildo is body-safe?
To ensure a dildo is body-safe, look for toys made from medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, or ABS plastic. Avoid dildos labeled as “jelly,” “rubber,” or “silicone blend,” as these often contain phthalates or other harmful chemicals. Reputable brands will clearly state their materials and safety certifications. If a dildo has a strong chemical smell, feels greasy, or becomes sticky over time, it’s likely made from unsafe materials and should be avoided.
Choosing your first dildo is an exciting experience—taking the time to research and select the right one will make all the difference in ensuring safety, comfort, and pleasure.
Rick has been involved in the adult lifestyle and sex toy industry for more then 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.
